You Thought What?
Psalm 5, Psalm 95
To him that excelleth upon Nehiloth. A Psalm of David.
Hear my words, O Lord: understand my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King and my God: for unto thee do I pray.
Psalms 5:1-2 GNV
So just following the path set before me in meditating on each Psalm it is Psalm 95 that was next. Man plans his way, the Lord directs his steps. Well, I got started into Psalm 95, writing as I pondered. I held nothing back. Sometimes when you're letting God guide your meditation you learn things about yourself you know you need to know, but you don't ever want to believe about yourself. It's down right scary. But for God to work in our lives we must do just that, let Him work in our lives, even the hard things, the very hard things. And no, I won't be posting that meditation. It's hard enough to read for myself. And while like all things in life we should seek God to be a part, the same is true with our meditating. So when we meditate on God's Word and we ask Him to speak to us He wants us to do just that, meditate, ponder, ruminate, and as I said sometimes we see things we don't want to know about ourselves. But then our meditations are truly our collection of thoughts. What we learn of ourselves can be so eye opening, but another fact is that our ponderings, our learnings are again or can be a very, very random collection of thoughts. So shouldn't our cry, our prayer be just this, "Hear my words, O Lord; understand my meditations."
Do we really want our God, our King not only to know our thoughts, know how we think our thoughts, and to understand them also? Oh, yes, we may have prayed:
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of mine heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
Psalms 19:14 GNV
And...
Try me, O God, and know mine heart: prove me and know my thoughts, And consider if there be any way of wickedness in me, and lead me in the way for ever.
Yes, we want our thoughts known and to be tried. We want our meditations to be acceptable. But to be understood?
I have a friend nearly a score of years younger than I who has told me a couple of times that I really need to talk to people my own age about some things so we can talk of familiar things, things we can mutually understand. I responded that there are many my own age who don't understand many things I talk about and how I talk about them. So to ask of God to understand my meditations, my ponderings, my multitude of thoughts, thoughts that often I have no clue what and why they are is a challenge in itself. And I call on Him to understand them? Kind of like grief it can be filled with groanings which cannot be uttered.
But oh the need to meditate in His law both day and night. I have told others of times there was a very hard part of my life when I had thought I was a strong Christian young man. God had to try me for me to learn how weak I am, how much I need Him. It was during that extended time of my life when I would just read the Bible daily. My thought was whether I "got anything out of it or not" the Word is the sword of the Spirit and if He was going to work in me He needed all the Word for Him to use in me.
For the word of God is lively, and mighty in operation, and sharper then any two edged sword, and entereth through, even unto the dividing assunder of the soul and the spirit, and of the joints, and the marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts, and the intents of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12 GNV
And just the same as that time as a college student learning hard things about myself and now once again I find myself learning more of the same there does come a time that marked an end, and yes I am looking forward for that time now in my current learning process, where I can once again say.
And let all them that trust in thee, rejoice and triumph for ever, and cover thou them: and let them, that love thy Name, rejoice in thee. For thou Lord wilt bless the righteous, and with favour wilt compass him, as with a shield.
Psalms 5:11-12 GNV